


Sawdust and Diamonds

by gaydaydreamer



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Major Spoilers, and ofc for the most recent bomb, re: the identity of a certain quartz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-06 15:36:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15197885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaydaydreamer/pseuds/gaydaydreamer
Summary: from the top of the flightof the wide, white stairsthrough the rest of my lifedo you wait for me there?





	Sawdust and Diamonds

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a songfic and I'm not saying that listening to the Joanna Newsom song of the same name/reading the lyrics is integral to your understanding of this fic BUT if you do I think we can all agree it's about Pearl's longing and loyalty and loss. Also that first part that I quoted in the summary makes me weep openly and intensely just like Blue Diamond, #cancerseason amiright?

_There she was, the renegade Pearl, belonging to no one, alone in the dense wilderness of an untamed planet. They met purely by chance: Pearl stumbled into a clearing to find her there, the infamously treacherous quartz soldier who defied her purpose and devoted herself to the defense of Earth and gems alike. Their eyes met and she smiled, no need for introductions as they had both heard enough rumors of the other that the recognition that passed between them was instant._

_Rose Quartz extended her hand, and in that gesture was the promise of an allegiance like no other, a rebellion, a tale of war and glory passed down through generations of liberated gems. Her smile was intoxicating, her eyes shone like twin stars. Rose was impossible to resist, even when they were strangers._

"Pearl?"

The daydream dissolved and Pearl snapped to attention at the sound of her Diamond's voice. Their meeting had never happened that way, but it's how she'd tell it to anyone who asked. Anything to deepen the mythology of Rose Quartz, leader of the Crystal Gem rebellion. And Rose encouraged the fantasy, though Pearl was determined not to read into it. The story fit well with the persona Pink Diamond had constructed. It was harmless, practical even. Still, once caught, the guilty blush crept across her cheeks and Pearl wondered if it was obvious to Pink Diamond where her mind had been wandering.

"Yes my Diamond."

"None of that," she giggled. "It's just Rose now." She continued before Pearl could stutter through an apology, "I want to show you something I learned from the humans," she said, and her whole expression glowed with barely-contained excitement. Her spectral form was practically shimmering. Pearl nodded, returning Rose's contagious grin. 

Rose presented to her what appeared to be some kind of enclosed oblong bowl with several strings pulled taught across the flat surface. She ran her fingers across it, producing a sound unlike any Pearl had ever heard. "What is it?" she asked.

"It's called music!" Rose punctuated her explanation by plucking each of the strings in rapid succession, while pressing them down in places with her other hand. It created a pleasing arrangement of varying tones that reverberated through Pearl's body as if they were physically passing through her. She shuddered, feeling stirred to her core, but unable to explain why. _What purpose does it serve_ , she wanted to ask, but sensed that this was one of those instances in which her pragmatism would only annoy her Diamond. Instead she listened as Rose fingered her way through a pattern with her determined gaze fixed on the strings. The precise, deliberate movement of her hands transfixed Pearl completely, and before she could stop herself she wondered what it would feel like to be touched with such care. She swallowed hard, as if the thought was stuck in her throat, and almost didn't notice when the music ceased, and Rose was watching her expectantly. "Isn't it pretty?"

"Yes," Pearl agreed. And it was, but not as beautiful as her Diamond's face when it shone with such unfathomable delight.

-

_Rose rested her hand on the small of Pearl's back, and the gesture sent a thrill of excitement through her body. Every time they were in close proximity like this, she could feel the edges of her spectral form fraying at the possibility of fusion. It had been on her mind ever since the Garnet had joined their ranks of rebel gems-- Rose Quartz and her always dancing around the unspoken desire to try it for themselves._

_Rose could almost certainly feel her shudder, but she leaned into the touch as opposed to pulling away, and Pearl felt herself melting into her Diamond's embrace. Suddenly the edges of her body had dissolved completely, and she could feel the crossbeams of light intersecting with Rose as their consciousnesses merged. And they melted together so perfectly that there was no longer a Pearl or a Rose Quartz, but something,_ someone, _entirely new in their place._

"Pearl?"

Once again she'd been caught daydreaming. "Yes my- yes Rose?" Enough time had passed since the fabled shattering that Pearl hardly ever slipped now, and when she did she always caught herself in time. 

Rose didn't answer her right away, and her expression was difficult to parse. She hugged her arms to her chest, body still, almost withdrawn, and her bottom lip was caught between her teeth. Pearl had never seen this before-- her Diamond, nervous. She would have thought that the being of unabashed exuberance and curiosity she'd come to know would be beyond such quiet consideration.

The urge to reach out and squeeze Rose's hand in reassurance was overpowering, but she held back. Freedom had imbued her with a boldness wholly uncharacteristic of any Pearl, but it only went so far. When it came to touching Rose, well, she was still a Diamond under her disguise. It was more comfortable to maintain a respectful distance and wait for her to initiate. But what did propriety accomplish now that Pink Diamond had been "shattered"? So much had changed since she'd first adopted the persona-- for all gemkind, but especially between the two of them. And when Pearl thought about the gem at the epicenter of her devotion _and_ her desire, the facet in her heart was decidedly quartz-shaped. Therefore, it was Rose Quartz, not Pink Diamond, who finally spoke. "I want to show you something the humans taught me." She hesitated a moment, and a blush crept across her cheeks so deep it was almost scarlet. "It's something special, just between us."

Pearl nodded and waited patiently for Rose to produce some foreign trinket, or launch into a spectacular anecdote about human life. Instead she beckoned her forward, and what could Pearl do but follow?

-

They took it slow, the first time. Rose was uncharacteristically shy, which was endearing, and helped to ease some of Pearl's own nervousness. She had been practicing with humans for some time now, and there was quite a bit of instruction involved, but Pearl was nothing if not a fast learner.

It was like fusion, she explained, not Homeworld's fusion but the new kind, the kind they'd seen in the form of Garnet. The kind of fusion that Pearl fantasized about achieving with Rose. And they'd come so close more than once now, only to snap back into their separate selves at the last second, thwarted by a sense of propriety too deep to unlearn. Humans couldn't fuse like they could, but they had their own ways of creating intimacy, methods untainted by Homworld's prejudices. And after they'd done it once-- learned how to modify their composition and fit their bodies together just right-- the slow, bashful, clumsiness evaporated, and when they clashed it was glorious and urgent and desperate. There was friction, so much friction, and a collision of sorts but never the complete dissolution of two gems into a singular being. 

Astride Rose Quartz's lap Pearl was fully herself, perhaps more than she'd ever been. As Rose's hands moved up her thighs Pearl couldn't help but be present in her form. She couldn't help but notice every wave of pleasure that rippled through her at Rose's touch. Her body was still hers, but it no longer felt like a solid thing. Instead it was molten and malleable, aching to be shaped and wrought however Rose saw fit. The boundaries of her being no longer clear, Pearl writhed in ecstasy. Where to draw the line between Rose's hands and her center, between Rose's lips and her own? It was impossible to distinguish, to even think past the roll and buck of her hips, the press of bodies and the heat between them, and the sounds they made, like music. And in that moment, when all the built up tension released as if her gem itself was exhaling, her vision surged with white light. _Perhaps humans could fuse after all_ , she thought, as the euphoria all but destabilized her. But no, this was different, and like everything else on Earth, there was a certain wildness to it that was beyond intoxicating.

It was something entirely unique to this planet, except they could have it too. And they did, often.

**Author's Note:**

> hey so, more chapters? Hate it? Let me know I live for validation.


End file.
